With apologies to Harper’s Magazine.
Days between fall and spring semester: 33
Papers due: 1
Total words: 5,024
Schoolbooks brought home: 9 (plus 16 articles, printed out)
Number of times this space lost heat: 7
Electricity: 3
People with stomach flu: 2
Temperature: 100.5
Friends paralyzed, clinging to life dead: 1
Friends’ breakups: 2
Bike moves: 1
Incidents of naked trampolining: 1
Participants in New Year’s World Naked Bike Ride: 2 (@4am, 28° F)
International presents given to friends/family: 27
Birthdays: 3.5
If you’re Christian: 4.5
Hugs given/received: Infinite
Moments of being a little too honest: Countless
Schoolwork avoided in order to sleep, eat, process, see friends, etc.: Not enough
bookish 
I did not receive a hug! Merry Christmas!
That’s because I haven’t seen you! It’ll be the first thing on my to do list January 6th. 🙂 -ha